You mean you are not completely miserable at work?

The title is what kept going through my head while working at Montreal.  The people at the office were just so different from the people back home.  Maybe it seemed that way because I only spent three days there, but they were friendly and during lunch they talked about other things other than complain about work!

I met one lady who had been with the company for 37 years!  She is retiring in August.  This was her only job ... ever!  Crazy!  I am not sure if she held the same position, but I don't think so.  I really wanted to ask her what they used before computers...but I felt that was very disrectpectful so I shut my trap!

Office Observations:

• People are more laid back.  They have breakfast together from 9:30-10 am EVERYDAY.  They actually sit in the cafeteria for 30 minutes and eat their cereal/yogurt!  I really really liked that.
• They dress more stylish.  There is one analyst who looked looked like Blake Lively and she wore very cute clothes.  She was probably the only analyst in my age group, but everyone else was also had style.

Blake Lively

Financial Analyst
• Since the office is in an actual plant they get to interact with the plant hourly employees.  I found it nice that they all say hi to each other at lunch.  I find that the people from corporate lose touch with reality and don't realize that the decisions made at the corporate office actually affect real people at the plants.
• People are nice!  So all the cafeteria employees spoke French at first, then I would say "Sorry, I don't speak French, can I have a ham and cheese sandwich?"  Yes, that's what I ate because I didn't know how to order anything else!  They were patient with me as I pointed to what I wanted on the sandwich.  Over at corporate you need to have your order ready and yell it out as soon as it is your turn or else you get yelled at... yes, lunch is stressful like that!  Also, today I asked the guy at the register for a straw, but he didn't know what I meant, so I signaled my juice and I think he understood and pointed me to somewhere.  I said thank you, but decided to just drink straight from the bottle, well once I was sitting he came by my table and handed me a straw!  That surprised me!

I really hope that the "nice" rubbed off on me.  I want to go back to work with a better attitude y "con ganas de trabajar"! 

Oh!  I should mention that the reason I traveled for work was because their responsibilities are being sent to corporate and therefore they are losing their jobs, yes and they were still nice to me/us.  I felt like this girl from "Up in the Air", even though I was not the one who broke the news to them I still felt bad.  I really wish them good luck because they are a good group of people.

Goals: Get A New Apartment

I decided I was ready to upgrade to a one bedroom.  It was a hard decision because I love my place and I have spent a lot of time on it and I finally feel happy with it... so why would I want to move?  Well, I would really love to have people over and you can't really have a get together in a studio... well not comfortably anyways.

I also love interior design so I would love to design my own little apartment.  I am very excited about finding a place and therefore "this journey" has been really dissapointing.  I found a nice affordable one bedroom, but the problem is that it's ready to have someone move in while my lease is not over until July 31st... bummer!  I listed my studio on craigslist as a sublease and I did get a few emails... a lot of them were weird and I didn't trust them.  I did show it to two girls, but so far nothing.  This whole situation was causing me lots of stress.

I decided to keep my eyes open for other places and this is how I found this other apartment.  I was too excited because it looked really nice and it was very affordable.  Check it out!

I wrote to them and one later got a response.  After I e-mailed them and waiting for a response to a viewing I decided to google the owner's emails since it actually looked like it belonged to a management company.  Well, surprise surprise!  I found them on the flake list!

It turns out it's a scam.  That's the same e-mail is the one I got.  So far they have "hit" Colorado, Texas and Illinois!  So just be careful when you are looking for apartments (specially on craigslist)!

As far as my aparment search goes, well I decided to stay until the contract expires and start looking at places at the end of June.  Wish me luck! 

And then Kim Kardashians walks in.

Don't you hate it when you hurry home from a late Friday night at work to wash the work week off your hair... try on two different outfits.... settle on black, find some semi-comfortable heels and drive the 40 minutes to meet your boyfriend's friends for a birthday celebration... you show up, take some sangria and feel pretty good about not only finishing your week's work but also looking pretty cute....until Kim Kardashian walks in....and you sink to into your sangria.

Damn it... confidence vanishes faster than the sangria.  So what do you do?

Well I ask for more sangria and run through the list of sht I DID just get done.  Damn it!  I worked until 8 pm, went home fed and showered myself even though I was tired and only wanted to throw myself on the couch!  I tried to look cute (and was feeling cute until this bimbo walked in) and drove into Chicago dodging other city hungry suburbanites to see my boyfriend smile and party.  Yes, I am  a pretty awesome girlfriend.  I am back to feeling pretty good about myself... but what makes me feel better is that I WAS WORKING (and  being an independant self sufficient woman) while this hoe was at home making her hair perfectly straight, probably doing sit ups and adjusting her push up bra.  Yes, I am way better than her.  THEN I hear someone mention that she is a nurse.... DOUBLE DAMN IT!... she probably saved someone's life today.  I am back to my sangria.

Then I mentally btch slap myself and yell, "why must you only feel good about YOURSELF when you feel superior to someone else? STOP... you are awesome because you are awesome, not because little nurse Bethany Whispers is dumb and or lame!  Ok. let's just smile, drink your sangria and have a good time."

So I do.  We get to the club, order me a Jameson and 7 and proceed to dance like a fool and love it.  The end.

.... and little nurse Bethany Whispers?.... I don't know.  I stopped keeping track of her after the first sip of my "jimmy"...except I did see her limp out of the club...haha...those heels were killers.

Who I am not.

My birthday brough upon a lot of reflection.  One of the things I reflected on was on who I am, who I was, but more importantly to me, who I am not.  I realized that through out time I have "tried" to be a lot of different woman or at least adopt their style.  This year I realized that I will never be them, I have my own likes and dislikes.  I have my own real life to deal with.  In a perfectly designed Eva life, I would have a reality design show with many assistants and also a personal stylist!  I would look perfect all of the time!  I would wear heels and have a perfectly pedicured toes.  I would also have a personal foot rubber... well I did say I was going to wear heels!

Ok, back to reality.  The two ladies' style I have tried to identify with are Kate and Katy.

I wish I was classic and timeless like Kate Middleton.  I pick a nude pink tone for my nails and I feel closer to her.  I die my hair a light brown and feel I am getting there.  I shop for a white coat because she looks so put together!  My hair gets longer and I think "I am really honing in".  In reality, I wake up late and pull my hair up in a pony tail, my manicure starts to show stress and distress.  Close week comes around and I need to type fast so I make the nail clipper my BFF.  Winter is gone and the white coat never happened... ugh I've missed the Kate train.

At the same time, I like hot pink on my nails and leopard print.  So after Kate didn't happen, I think Katy is really more me.  I find a leopard print dress.  I die my hair darker and cut it and style it differently to give it more waves.  Yes, I am really getting better at this.  I wished I had blue eyes... and fireworks coming out of my bra (fireworks music video)!  Ugh, this get's tiring.  I can't be her.

So I am not Kate nor Katy.  Also, my feet hurt when I wear heels.  Most of the time I don't care about my hair because I have places to go (like work), reconciliations to reconcile, blogs to read, shows to watch, e-mails to answer and basically a life to live!

So I give up.  I will just forget this whole, who can I be dealio and just be me.  I will pick the nail color I like for me, I will go shopping with only me in mind.  I know that I will never be that "put together" girl because in reality I guess I don't care that much about style.  I wish I did, but I guess I don't.

I have also realized that I will never be the pretty traveler I wish I was.  Today I wore my "Mr. Peanut" shirt for the flight... why?  Because it's super soft.  BUT when I saw myself in the airport bathroom I seriously felt embarrassed!  Just because it's a work trip it does not mean I should wear their brand on my chest. 

So maybe something I should strive for is... to NOT look like such a hot mess.  Yes, that I could try to do.  Instead of trying "to be" someone else I will only use their style as inspiration and try to make it my own.  After all, if Kate or Katy didn't have all that money, media attention, and professional help they would probably also be wearing a Mr. Peanut shirt... ok maybe not.  No one should be wearing that.  I am embarrased all over again!

Day 1: New Job and in Montreal

It does feel like a new day!  Ever since I got the new position... I had not felt excited about it...but today is my first day w/out my old job responsibilities and I do feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders!

I am so excited, but I do not want to jinx myself.  I am always afraid of marinating in the excitement/happiness of something new for fear of it dissapearing and being heartbroken.  BUT here I am sitting in Montreal full of excitement and hope for a better work life.  I am anxious to leave my old role.  I learned so much and it was painful.  We (me and other analysts) call it boot camp or plain old jail... and today I feel free.  Yes, I will probably still have to answer a few questions and I do have one more reconciliation to complete...but I feel free.

Thank you God for helping me through that role... he knows there were many days/nights when I left the office feeling defeated, but had to go home and wash it all away only to go back for more.  Now I ask... please take it easy on me with this new role!  I need a break!  I promise to do my best... but please have them be kind.... even if they don't rewind... LOL.  Had to throw that in there. 

Downtown Montreal From My Hotel Window

Well it's beautiful out.  The corporate card wants to pay for my lunch... so I will let it.  My mind says it's a work trip...but my body thinks it's a vacation... hopefully they will compromise and find a happy medium.